Facebook Chat Not Showing Up Leads to...Yikes...Talking

In a story that may or may not be related to the previous post, many Facebook users are complaining that their chat windows are not opening up. The crisis has taken on international implications in less than twenty-four hours. People from all corners of the globe are reaching their cyber hands out for help.

"I have at least two friends that I know of that won't show up on the i-phone app even though they are on line," reports Oklahoma native, J.J. Jimmer. "Anyone else having this problem? I would really like to get it figured out since I prefer to chat on my i-phone that dial numbers and stuff."

"Yeah, I have the same issue," says Paris Townsend of Paris, Texas. "I even had to call a friend of mine when he wouldn't show as online to me. It's that way with other friends, too. It's really eating up my minutes."

"I know," chimes Katja Chacon of Norway, "Facebook is getting really annoying. What am I supposed to do with all of these friends when I can't chat with them? There's no way I can afford real communication."

"What wrong to my confirmasi code to Facebook i-phone, yeah, yeah?" added another user of unknown origin. Friends of his were even more horrified by the possibility of actually talking to him.

As the hours crept by with no solution in sight, Facebook users began to lose hope. Many logged off and resigned to a life of loneliness and re-reading "shats" (saved chats), while others braved the number options on their i-phones and called their friends. Real, voice to voice conversations ensued, and several things happened in quick succession.

1. Millions of users discovered that LOL is not an appropriate response to jokes on the telephone while other struggled with an inability to verbally express the wide range of emoticons they were used to having at their disposal.

2. Telephone service providers stocks rose temporarily while Facebook's took a major mid-day plunge. An AT&T rep called our hotline to report, "OMG. AFAIC, CWYL." And he meant it facetiously.

3. When people realized how difficult the status of having 500 Facebook Friends in the face of on-line Chat-atstrophe, many returned to their home pages and began whittling off the 450 they barely remembered from high school, met on a boat in Greece, slept with at a night club, had a crush on in kindergarten, or wish they really knew 'cuz they're pretty.

4. Facebook's Social Network quickly shrank from 500 million to the original founders and the guys who made the crappy movie about them.